Lying With You Half Awake
by itainthardtryin
Summary: Brittany talks to their newborn daughter in her bedside crib, as Santana sleeps off the exhaustion of giving birth. One Shot. Written for day one of Brittana week on Tumblr.


Brittany really cannot believe that this little person, this tiny, innocent person lying in the beside crib in front of her, is her daughter. Is _their _daughter. In all her life she didn't know it was possible to feel this tired, this happy, this loved, this exhausted, this complete all at once. She places her hand in the crib and strokes the tiny fist her daughter is currently making. When she grabs hold of Brittany's finger, it feels like the world's stopped. The love that she's shared with Santana for the past fifteen years has created this person and she could literally not be more perfect if she tried. Brittany glances briefly behind her at her wife sleeping in the hospital bed, and her heart swells with love until it feels like it's going to burst.

Santana's been exhausted all day. She's been fighting sleep though, so she could introduce their as yet still unnamed daughter to everyone. Brittany doesn't think she's ever seen Santana look more proud or more full of love. Sure, she has bags under her eyes, her hair is thrown up in a messy ponytail and she's spent the day in bed, but in Brittany's eyes she's never been more beautiful. What's more beautiful than bringing another human life into the world? It's the most generous, most precious thing that anyone has ever done for her. Brittany just hopes that a few years down the line she can return the favor and do the same for Santana and give their daughter a little brother or sister. The thought makes her stomach fill with butterflies and her eyes prick with tears. Everything's just worked out so perfectly and Brittany's never been this happy in her whole life.

She brings her attention back to her daughter in the crib, still very softly grabbing onto her mom's finger. Brittany can't help but smile. Even though she's trying to be as quiet as she can so Santana can sleep for a little while, Brittany begins to talk to her daughter in a whisper.

"Hey little one, I'm your mom. Y'know, there have been so many obstacles to get over, and so many reasons you shouldn't exist, but here you are. You're here, and I'm your mom._ We're_ you're moms. Wow, it's hard to believe when I say that, but it's true. You have no idea how long we've waited to meet you.

Y'know, your mommy has always wanted you for as long as I can remember. When we were in school, before we started dating, we'd talk about it sometimes. She's always wanted a family for, like, ever. I knew from the first day I met her that she was going to be an amazing mom," Brittany pauses for a second, smiling at the memory.

"I'd fallen at recess and grazed my hands and my knee, and even though we were only five years old, she picked me up and took me inside to help me get cleaned up. I think that was when I fell in love with her. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you're too young to know what love is, or that you can't know as a kid who you're going to marry as an adult. I told your grandpa that I was going to marry your mom when I was six years old. I just knew I was. Nothing had ever felt so right in my whole life. Well, until we decided to start trying for you." Santana stirs slightly behind them, but Brittany doesn't hear her. She's too engrossed in their daughter to hear anything else. Santana thinks she hears Brittany whispering, and tries her hardest not to move or make any noise, trying to make sure she can hear everything.

"We've tried for so long. We tried for so, so long and nothing was happening, but we just couldn't give up on you. With your mommy it was love at first sight, but with you? With you, it was more like love at first thought. I've loved you since the moment we decided to try. You're not even a day old yet, and I feel like I've loved you my whole life." Emotions start to get the better of Brittany and she swallows the lump rising in her throat. Santana's heart swells.

"I suppose I have. You're the reason all of this makes sense. You're proof of how much we love each other. You're proof that we can do this. That our love can do anything. You know, when we were in high school people still thought that two women shouldn't be married, shouldn't have kids. People are more open now, but it still breaks my heart that fifteen years ago there were people who thought you shouldn't exist." As if she can understand what her mom is saying, the tiny fist around Brittany's hand tightens slightly, and her daughter stirs slightly in her crib.

"I'm surprised you're not sleeping. I'm sure it's exhausting, having to get used to breathing and feeling and seeing. Your mom's been sleeping for a while now. She didn't want to sleep, she just wanted to look at you and hold you all night. But I told her she had to rest. She was amazing. You're so lucky she's your mom." Santana didn't think she could love Brittany more. After everything they've been through - engagement, marriage, trying to get pregnant but constantly getting negatives, finally getting that positive and then today, meeting their daughter for the first time - she didn't think she could love Brittany more. But she was wrong.

"You know she's been worrying so much about whether you're going to like her? She thinks that I'm going to be your favorite, and that you're going to think she's too strict or not fun enough or something. She's so silly, isn't she? You're going to love her. She's got this great big heart that's just so, so full of love. She's going to protect you and love you and guide you better than anyone else ever will. Well, I hope I can match her, but apart from us, no-one will ever love you more." Brittany can't fight it anymore, and a tear breaks free, making a path down her cheek. She's just so overcome with love, overcome with happiness. Of all the tears she's ever cried because of Santana, these are her absolute favorite. She'd cry these tears a thousand times over, and she's sure she will when there are first steps and first words, first days at school and first days at college. Brittany just looks at her daughter in awe, taking in every single little detail about her.

"I just can't believe you're finally here," she whispers, even quieter than before.


End file.
